„The smallest self-help group in the world consists of only two people who can have a vital conversation with each other.“
These two people can be:
- The two partners of a couple
- Two friends
- Father or mother with their child
- Adult children with father and/or mother
- Two siblings
- Work colleagues or boss with their employees
Classical dialogues can often get heated and build up in various relationships, i.e. they often lead to even stronger disputes when there are already conscious or unconscious conflicts.
So called „monologue-dialogues“, however, are a form of communication that is not aimed at an immediate exchange per se; it is about learning about mutual unawareness, about recognizing that we are not always on the same wavelength. „I am not you and I do not know you.“ (Michael Lukas Moeller, book „The truth begins at two“.)
These specific dialogues need a certain order and structure, which looks like this:
These should take place once a week at an agreed upon date without any interference or disturbance; these take 90 minutes. One of the two people speaks for 15 minutes, whilst the other is quiet during these 15 minutes and listens attentively. Then the other person gets to speak and now the other partner remains calm and listens attentively. This is repeated twice, alternating between the two people, in total each partner speaks three times for 15 minutes without being interrupted. When a partner doesn’t know what to say, the rest of the time is spent in silent silence. Sometimes it then becomes apparent that this silence is not actually that quiet…
Each of the partners talks about what moves them, how they experience themselves, their counterpart, the relationship and their life, so they remain solely focused on themselves (which is very important). The conversation takes on no other topic.
In these dialogues we can experience and get to know ourselves, our partners and our relationship in a completely new way. We also often come to realize how one is responsible for their own feelings. Often times, subliminal conflicts are resolved clearly and easily through this exchange of monologue-listening system.
„What is of concern to both, only both together can solve.“Michael Lukas Moeller, book The truth begins at two.
If you would like more information about this technique, please contact me at:
Büelstrasse 1, 6340 Baar
Tel. 079 402 67 00